he didn't go to jared

Blair's Story

"Engagement bands began in Ancient Egypt as the circle was used to symbolize a never ending cycle and the space in it as a gateway. Betrothal rings were used during Roman times, but weren't generally revived in the Western world until the 13th century.^[1] Roman men gave engagement rings that included a small key. Romantics believe that the carved key was a symbolic key to protect and cherish the husband's heart. However, the key most likely stood for the unlocking of wealth.

Rings are placed on the fourth finger on the left hand, because Ancient Greeks believed that it contained a vein that led to the heart (vena amoris). Romans believed the ring to be a symbol for ownership rather than love. It meant that the husband would claim his wife. In second century B.C.E., the Roman bride was given two rings, a gold one which she wore in public, and one made of iron, which she could wear at home while doing house chores."

I'll always remember the day that I charged headlong into a jewelery store in Baltimore, looking for a very specific ring that we had seen online.  Ryan was hesitant.  I knew this.  Perhaps its little things like that which can prove that you are really right for each other. I knew full well he was not going to be convinced to marry me until he was involved with the ring.  Until I got him engaged in the process of choosing it, no pun intended.  This is just how he operates.  You have to get his attention first, dangle something in front of him and eventually he takes control.  That's when the magic starts.  Because once he is involved, something truly incredible will happen.  And it did.

So my first priority was, admittedly, not "us." (although it was a very very very close second).  My first priority was breaking out of the Wedding Industrial Complex and walking away from a controlled diamond industry.  (that is NOT to say that I do not absolutely love and appreciate diamonds. They are lovely and symbolic in their own right.  My ring does have some diamonds too!).

But a very very very close second was water.  Yeap.  The drink.  See, Ryan is a Naval architect and studied how things flow for the better part of his life.  Sometimes he will stop and observe how smoke flows and rotates, or watch ripples in a lake and tilt his head in wonder.  I love that about him.

And me?  I am obsessed with the stars.  The universe.  The "beyond humanity."  And I wanted-needed-something that represented the flow in life and the flow of our place in the cosmos.  Perhaps in the shape of an embrace.  Or a galaxy. Interesting how such patterns repeat.

Could we capture that?  Well sure, said the conveniently (and slightly suspiciously) available jewelry designer.  "But you, miss," she said "will want to be present to pick out the stone.  An Alexandrite, your stone of choice, is not something you can just pick willy-nilly."

Perhaps getting a ring custom designed was something we would want to consider.  So we did.

See, an Alexandrite, a rare gem, is a color changing stone.  And there are many things that change in our lives.  Our love, our temperament with one another.  Our moods and our moments.  Constant change.  Alexandrite is one color under incandescent or candle light and a completely different color in sunlight.  To me the dichotomy is pure magic.  Much like love.

 And then he surprised me again.  because designing a ring to capture our mutual fascination with the way water and the universe and love and life embraces you apparently isn't quite enough.  He  set the stones two different ways.  To represent our personalities.   On one side, channel set diamonds to show his logical, rational, calculated nature.  The other (and continuing into the wedding band) sheer randomly set stones, dancing around the center stone like spontaneous frolicking children.  Or stars.  Or me.

And so now I have something.  A forever something.  That does not only give a nod to the traditions set by our ancestors and our global cultural representation of love, marriage, and commitment.  But I have something that is purely, completely, us.  Our love.  Our lives.  Ourselves.  I get to wear our legacy on my finger every day.  Nothing could make me happier.  He's a genius.